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October 15th, 2006
12:51 am
Title: Breakdown
Rating: Meh, whatever
Summary: Ville's been having trouble coping with all the pressures of his life.
Disclaimer: What, you seriously think I own any of these most beautiful characters? I don't have an imagination good enough for that...
Author's notes: Based off an article I read in Kerrang! about Ville breaking down on tour in Japan.
I took the phone from my pocket and glanced down at the cars so far below me they looked like tiny pinpricks of light in the darkness of the night. I knew the number so well by now that I didn’t even have to think about which keys I was pressing with a trembling finger. The ringing sounded in my ear. Please let him answer. I wasn’t going until I spoke to him.
“Hello?” the sleepy voice answered.
“Bammie!” I said, feigning cheeriness.
“Willa! Do you know what time it is here?”
“S-sorry, love,” I couldn’t help it. My voice cracked. So much for pretending to be happy.
“What’s wrong?” All sleepiness was gone from his voice. I felt unwanted tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
“I…I can’t do it Bam…I j-just c-c-can’t!”
“Baby? What can’t you do?” his voice had now switched to gentle and soothing.
“This!” I gestured wildly with my hands before remembering Bam couldn’t see it. “Everything! I can’t cope, Bammie!” I could hear him breathing on the other end of the line, and assumed he wanted me to continue. However, rational thought was quickly leaving my brain. “It…It’s too hard…I…I’ve b-been b-b-breaking down. It’s too…I c-can’t…I can’t do it!”
“How do you mean, breaking down?” His tone wasn’t accusatory – on the contrary, he was being gentle, not forcing me to say anything – but it was enough to take me over the edge. I collapsed onto my knees, sobbing into my arm.
“It’s…I can’t forget…too hard,” the disjointed phrases probably made no sense to him, but he waited patiently for me to continue. That was one of the many reasons I loved him so much. Despite being impatient around others, he always had time for me, however long I wanted. It would be such a shame…but I couldn’t stop now. “After…when I was m-mugged…then Jonna…and…when…after…arrested…I can’t sleep, Bammie! I k-keep having p-panic attacks…can’t even…the taxis…I can’t do it!”
“Don’t cry, angel. It’s all right. Don’t cry. I’m gonna get the first flight I can and come see you, ok? I’ll be there soon, baby,” Any other time I would have been reassured, comforted by his love for me. This time I knew he would be wasting his efforts. There would be no point by the time he got here.
“No, Bammie. Don’t c-come. There’s…there’s something I wanna t-tell you,” I stuttered. It was now or never. He was silent again for me, but it took a while for me to find the right words. “I…I m-meant it w-when I said I can’t d-d-do this,”
“I don’t understand,” The blunt statement, my Bammie’s confused voice flooding into my ear, was enough to make me start crying all over again.
“I m-mean…everything…I c-c-can’t do…everything…life!”
“What do you mean?” he asked, sounding terrified. He should have got it by now. I didn’t want to have to explain. I didn’t want to make him too scared before…it happened.
“I c-called you…be-because…I want to hear your v-voice last. I want to s-say my…l-last words t-t-to…you,” I almost didn’t have the heart to continue, hearing his gasp and knowing how he would feel, the same way I would feel if it were me in his position. “P-promise me…you’ll s-say g-g-goodbye to Linde and Mige for me…t-tell them I l-love them…say s-sorry for me f-fucking up…their l-lives…say s-sorry for everything,”
“NO! Ville, please, please don’t do it! You can’t! I love you too much! Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? What you’re doing to yourself? You can’t, Ville, you just can’t! Please, I’m actually begging you!”
I hated to hear him so torn up, but I continued saying, “Thank you f-for everything you’ve done for me,” I was shocked to hear right at the end my voice became so calm. “Thank you for always being there for me, and for looking after me, loving me, and being the best friend I could have in any world. I promise, Bammie, I will never, ever forget you. I promise that when you die, I’ll still be there waiting for you. I promise that I’ll never stop loving you,”
With that I moved to the edge. My toes hung over the edge of the building. The cars below flickered in my blurred eyesight. I leant forward, slowly, almost pleasurefully. Bam was screaming at me on the other end of the connection.
“I’m sorry Bam. Goodbye.”
“NO!”
I fell, fell through the air, felt like I was flying, felt happy for the first time in what felt like forever since I left America last. Heard Bam’s sobs, heard his last, “Goodbye, my love,”
Died.
Ville Valo was buried in Helsinki, Finland, in a small service attended by closest friends and family. Soon after, Bam Margera died of grief, a broken heart unable to be mended. They were together in death at last.
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Comments:
so sad, so beautiful...am almost crying
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/56035438/8845217) | | From: | ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) inourblood |
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| Date: | January 31st, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC) |
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| | Re: beautiful | (Link) |
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Thank you my darling!
Aww, don't cry! I don't want to make people too sad!
Your icon is the sex btw
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/61491694/11767248) | | From: | christinalp |
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| Date: | February 8th, 2007 10:42 am (UTC) |
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| | Re: beautiful | (Link) |
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thnx for the comment about my icon, lol!! i love them and it's hot, so i chose it!! |
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